"Mom, This Time I Just Want To Do It By Myself"

Those are heart-breaking words coming from my oldest. Zach and his family have a pretty busy life... shuttling back and forth between sports, school, Grammy's, friends, swimming lessons, work, etc... but we FINALLY got around to learning one of the best things in a young boy's life... how to ride a bike. This is as much of a learning experience for the parents as for the child. How much to hold on... when to let go... too much help balancing and they don't learn enough... not enough help and they crash and burn... So much like LIFE.

At one point in the day, Zach let me know with confidence that he didn't need my help anymore... he was still wobbley, but he assured me "I want to do it by myself now"... back off, Mom - that's what I heard, but I know now what he was really saying was that we had shown him the ropes and now it was time to grow even more and go it alone. He was so proud of himself after he made it - and so were we!

Of course, Zane had to ride his bike too! He always has to do everything his brother is doing. I know one day, it will be Zach teaching HIM how to ride a big kid's bike.

DRAMA KING!!!!

Learning to ride a bike for the first time... Ahhh, the feeling of FREEDOM!

Jon&KatePlus8 GET IT TOGETHER

So, I watched my first ever Jon&KateEtc... show today - and then I watched another... and another... I have to agree with the fan(atics) out there that it is rather addicting. Sis, I'm sorry to say, I hated it so much, I couldn't tear my eyes away. Seriously, I've been hearing about the big Jon & Kate drama... splitting up, cheating, blah blah blah. I will probably have to turn in my "Women Rule the World" club card, but I'm on Jon's side... his wife is a B***** with a capital B!!! Like in CRAZY B****. Sisters, Moms, Goddesses out there, learn from her mistakes: it is not ALWAYS about us (though if wishing made it so...) and NOBODY likes to be nagged at day in and day out (even if they NEED it or REALLY deserve it...) She SCREAMED at him in the middle of a toy store - I would have screamed back or slapped her.

Sisters, please don't treat your husbands the way she does (and sometimes we ALL do...) I will have my brother's backs on this one (and I know you'll have Wayne's). We may be morally and mentally superior to our male counterparts, but they are lovely in their own way... respect the parts of them that made us love them in the first place (especially when those are the very things that drive us crazy now that we are old married couples)

The Henry Girls and the Men Lucky Enough to Get 'Em

This blog is dedicated to the men who love us despite our few, charming imperfections (and to Tara's future someone who is definitely out there, sister.) The following is an excerpt from a great "memoir" I just finished reading that I think fits, at times, each of us girls and what the men in our lives at one time or another should be aware of (sorry, Dad, Wayne, Ryan, Joey... disclosure of these truths could have been more timely, but in the words of my lovely younger sister, Patricia, "Oh Well...").

The Other Ten Commandments

1. I loathe cooking. Therefore anytime I am forced into meal preparation, expect it to be done as loudly, profanely, and grudgingly as possible. (Angry: It’s what’s for dinner.)


2. I hate holding anything heavier than my purse. If I have something in my hands, I will attempt to trick you into carrying it for me.


3. I am not a great listener, although I might appear to be. Sure, I may be nodding and saying, “Mmm hmm,” but usually I am just trying to think of a way to steer the conversation back to being about me.


4. It is always about me.


5. I complain. A lot. Be particularly cautious if I am hungry, hot, or tired. May God have mercy on your soul if I am all three.


6. I am fashionably late for social obligations. The only exception is when I brunch with the girls. You must chauffeur me to the restaurant and I will shriek at you the entire time for dawdling, also known as obeying traffic signals. If it means getting me there on time, you will be expected to drive on the sidewalk.


7. Speaking of friends, many of them are cuter and thinner than me. You are not allowed to notice this.


8. There will be occassions when you breathe too loudly for my liking. Ditto on chewing.


9. All men’s socks look the same to me. If you care about wearing a matching set, please double check them yourself before crossing your legs at a business meeting.


10. I enjoy rearranging furniture. You need to enjoy moving bookcases.

-excerpt from Bitter is the New Black (or Why You Should Never Carry a Prada Bag to the Unemployment Line) by Jen Lancaster

Boys and Their Toys

Ryle Loftis, age 8, said it best, rolling her eyes at the dads getting the motorized metal contraptions ready to go for our day trip out in the desert. "Boys and their toys..." She's right... it wasn't enough that we were going to be spending all day out in the great outdoors. No, we also had to drive our off-road Rhino to Saturday's soccer game, BEFORE the trip. Darren and Wayne are so obsessed with their toys, they spent hours tuning, pruning, and yes, even welding a new steel cooler holder on to the back (I have to say, I was pretty impressed with Darren's handiwork).

Zach is a pro at riding with his dad in the Rhino... Zane, not so much. First of all, the helmet is so big that he resembles a bobble-head doll. Then, if we really get going, the dust and wind get in his eyes so he covers his head the entire time - we've come up with a new technique where I contort my arms (strapped in my seat) just right, so that I can hold his helmet steady against the back of the seat and at the same time shield his eyes from the wind and dirt. "What about goggles?" you say? Goggles would be great, if there were any that would fit around his big head and not snap off every time the helmet whipped around.
Once we were properly strapped in (a feat in and of itself), and applying the Shield-Steady-Zane technique - the ride was awesome! It was a beautiful day for riding... mild temps, a little cloudy, a little sunny. Bizarrely enough, within the first five minutes of the ride, Zane fell right to sleep.

At the end of a bumpy ride up the road, we were rewarded with a little old "Rock House" along the trail. That's where we stopped to picnic with the Loftis family and the Smith family. After scarfing down sandwiches in record time, the kids were off exploring the wash (amazingly with the rain we had, all of the washes were running with water) and climbing up to a cliffside mining cave. It felt a little "Blair Witch Project" for me, but I braved in about 50 yards or so and then had Darren take the kids in farther... Haley wanted to go in farther and farther (she's the brave one) but fortunately we got called back to camp before I was persuaded in to going any further and discovering I was right about some hibernating bear or something deep in the cave.

We ended the day down at one of the bigger washes where the kids threw rocks and tromped through the water. It was one of those perfect days that you wish you could save in a jar... but like fire flies, never last long there. Nonetheless, it will stay a good memory of wonderful friends, wonderful Arizona weather, and wonderful boys and their wonderful toys.

So Long, LDM 2009... See Ya Next Year

February 15th, 2009... Six months of preparation came to a satisfying end today at approximately 1:30pm Central-Standard-AJ-Time. The 8th Annual Lost Dutchman Marathon, the Real Arizona Marathon, concluded with record numbers, beautiful weather, and hundreds of amazing experiences. After talking to MANY runners and spectators, today, I understand why Runner's World Magazine calls this "One of the Best Little Marathon's in the Country". As if the inspiring runners (an 89 year old woman finished her 4th marathon today), generous sponsors and hundreds of INCREDIBLE volunteers weren't enough to make it an amazing endeavor... LDM Inc. (a non-profit organization made up of volunteer board and committee members) takes their profits and... get this... unlike the "big name races" they turn around and invest it back in to their community. Last year, youth in the Apache Junction/Gold Canyon area received over $25,000 in scholarship money for after school programs, swimming lessons, graduation scholarships, and athletic sports fees. It makes me proud to be associated with such a great event... and exhausted... I'm going to sleep for a week!

Don't Panic, But I'm Missing "Mr. November" & "Mr. December"

It started as a wish... we wished there was a centerfold calendar out there for us... one that portrayed what we thought was sexiest and most desirable in a man. It ended with a hilarious "Girls' Night" where we flipped through Internet images and celebrity magazines, drank a lot of wine and laughed over each other's choices for the Men Who Can Rock My World 2009 calendar. For most guys, it would be anything with scantily clad, anatomically incorrect runway models (tell me if I'm wrong here). For us girls, it is a little more complicated. While I've certainly been known to drool at the near naked figure of Brad Pitt, "turn-ons" also include guys in jeans, guys in cowboy hats, guys with an amazing smile, and guys holding a baby (when Wayne holds our nephew, Henry, it makes my heart melt and I forget that he once bought me an XLarge Jimmy Buffet sweatshirt for Christmas).

Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of six-pack abs and tight tushes: Tayna's "Mr. September" (The Punisher's, Thomas Jane) and Matthew Fox (LOST survivor and Michelle's "Mr. January"). But there was also Bradley Whitford (my "Mr. November"; AKA, backpack sporting Josh Lyman from West Wing) and Jenny's "Mr. April", Mr. Big - never seen in the buff, but a dream boat just the same. I suspect the attraction has something to do with the house-sized shoe closet he made for Carrie in Sex in the City.

Our REAL calendar heart-throbs (the leading men in our lives) made fun of us, but we didn't care! They only WISH they could get together and scrapbook hot women, drink beer, and gossip about how big "you-know-who's" butt has gotten since he stopped seeing "what's-her-name". And when all is said and done, the men conjured up in our favorite movies and romance novels never seem to materialize in real life. They're all just a twisted myth (much like the characters in all the Nora Jones novels I've read), designed to make us want what we will never have... well, here's to dreaming... bring on "Mr. October".

"Mr. October"

Thirteen Point One

So, I made it... 13.1 miles on a beautiful Sunday morning in So Cal... ocean breeze in my face, rigor mortis setting in to my joints, and the fellowship of great friends. The first couple of miles had been daunting... the last couple of miles were grueling... everything in between was amazing. But, I've gotten ahead of myself - it's important to start at the beginning of this story...last year, after AJ's own Lost Dutchman Marathon (one of the best "little marathons" in the nation, according to Runner's World magazine) JJ said, "We should all do that"... WE SHOULD ALL DO WHAT? I mean, really, I don't think I have ever ran more than 3 miles at a time in my life - in fact, when I played basketball for MCC, I used to hope I'd fall in a hole and not have to finish our daily 2-3 mile conditioning workout... I would TRY to find a rock to twist my ankle on... I prayed I would pass out from heat stroke... you get the idea. But, JJ is pretty convincing... and thinking he would never really find us a suitable run according to the criteria I gave him - Chrystal and I carelessly agreed to run with him. Before long, he found the perfect run - along the Pacific Coast Highway in Carlsbad, the half marathon idea became contagious, and we were able to add Wayne, Tayna, and Dan to our list of lunatics. After months of "training" - and I use that term loosely - we got together the week before to make our final arrangements. It is important, at this point in the story, to explain that we, at Parks & Rec, can rarely take a trip together without fighting about what we will "do" on our vacation getaway... we spend the majority of our time in indecision about how we will spend our time. It was clear we needed an itinerary... and being the control freak I am, I took this task very seriously.

Tayna, Darren, Wayne and I set off Friday afternoon. With a bunch of "chick flicks", our head phones, and lots of munchies, Tayna and I felt well-prepared to weather a long drive with our men. After a hilarious two hours of Charlotte, Carrie, Miranda, and Samantha and a painful two hours of Mama Mia (I swear Wayne is rubbing off on me... I knew it was a musical, but really, did they have to sing every meaningful monologue/dialogue?), we finally arrived in San Diego. It was at that point that I realized the guys would take great joy all weekend long in mocking the itinerary... no respect at all for the well-planned adventure. While the food was okay, El Norte was NOT the BEST MEXICAN FOOD PLACE IN ALL OF CALIFORNIA, according to Tayna... and I have to agree, the margaritas were not "perfect" - I should know (it is a little-known fact that I am a margarita aficionada). Regardless, NOTHING was going to spoil our big weekend... not even the toxic gases that oozed from the front seat inhabitants every where we went! Seriously, men, the war in the Middle East would be over if we could find a way to lock that in a capsule and smart-bomb it over our enemies. On Saturday, the rest of our team arrived and we spent the day at the Expo and then went out to my personal favorite: The Old Spaghetti Factory... Darren, not to be confused with the New Spaghetti Factory... I think it's my favorite because it reminds me of the good 'ol days and Mr. O. on our annual Math Club trip (Go Prospectors). We hit the sack early that night, resting up for our big run. Among the MANY arguments that night (inspite of our itinerary) was the time we should all meet to travel - together, in one car, packed in like sardines because parking was THOUGHT to be scarce... The itinerary clearly stated that we would leave at 6am, but our fanatical runner, Wayne, was worried there may be traffic or, gasp, a long line at the port-a-johns so we finally agreed to leave at 5:4am. Well, let me tell you, we were there in PLENTY of time... which Dan reminded us of at least every few minutes. I've never stretched so much in my life... Anyways, after 20-30 minutes in the port-a-john line... (now that was an experience I will not soon forget)... we finally made it to the start line. Wayne was in Wave 2, JJ was in Wave 5, and the rest of us were in Wave 6. We decided to live on the edge and move up to JJ's wave... I have to admit, it felt like cheating... I kept trying to hide my bib with the wave printed right on it in a big orange stripe... nobody else seemed to mind, but I was ready for some running nazi to come through the crowd and loudly (so everyone could hear) tell me I needed to move to the back of the line with all the other first timers. Thankfully, I was able to shrink in to the pavement there... Eventually, it was our time to move up to the front and get ready to go... the announcer was doing his best imitation of a Young Life club leader trying to get the girls to shout louder than the boys and encouraging group participation... the guys weren't having any of that! We were off with little fanfare and all I can say, is that I am amazed I didn't fall down (my sister would have laughed). The volunteers and the Carlsbadians (Sidd is that what they are called?) were wonderful - shouting out encouragement, dancing to a rockin' beat, holding signs - "Go Daddy". One house - no doubt old frat buddies that were still living the dream - had a mannequin of a girl in sexy lingerie out on their deck, blaring music, drinking beer and doing shots at 7:30am in the morning... now where were they when I finished?... not a beer in site at the finish line. The rest of the run was breathtaking... running on the coast was exhilirating (good thing, because it was very hilly... we were constantly running up a little hill and thankfully back down again... though, by the end my knees didn't care as much for the downhill portion as my lungs did). We managed to eek out a respectful 2hours and 39minutes... respectful because while we ran most all of the way, we did stop to take pictures and to pee. Tayna and I tried fruitlessly to get our pictures taken by the race photographers... but to no avail - there was always some little runner messing it up for us (she got hers, though: in all of our commotion to move into the camera's view, we accidently jostled a few people... not sure if she bit the dust or not, we tried to pretend it wasn't us... there was a crowd, it could have been someone else). We think they might have gotten our pictures at the end of the race, but we were laughing so hard by then, we're pretty sure no one could tell who we were. Wayne, of course, ran his personal best... we waved furiously to him as he ran past us on his way back from the turn-around... finishing nearly an hour before me. His knees are still hurting as I write this... mine aren't... that's what he gets for being such a show-off. Seriously, he is part of my inspiration to run with the crazies.

After LOTS of recovery time, we went to a great seafood place called King's Fish House... pretty awesome food - Tayna was feeling like she could conquer the world after our run, so she ordered lobster (this was the whole lobster, shell-on... very comical). I've got to give a shout out to our friend Sidd who saw the picture of Tayna on facebook and described her style as that of a hummingbird beating the poor lobster to death with her wings. Very observant. Anyways, all-in-all, it was an awesome weekend and an experience that I will always remember for the rest of my life as my FIRST half marathon... There is nobody I would rather have shared this with... Chrystal, Dan, Corinne, JJ, Tayna, Darren, and Wayne... best people in the world to step out of my comfort zone with. Now, to start planning my NEXT half marathon...