This blog is dedicated to the men who love us despite our few, charming imperfections (and to Tara's future someone who is definitely out there, sister.) The following is an excerpt from a great "memoir" I just finished reading that I think fits, at times, each of us girls and what the men in our lives at one time or another should be aware of (sorry, Dad, Wayne, Ryan, Joey... disclosure of these truths could have been more timely, but in the words of my lovely younger sister, Patricia, "Oh Well...").
The Other Ten Commandments
- I loathe cooking. Therefore anytime I am forced into meal preparation, expect it to be done as loudly, profanely, and grudgingly as possible. (Angry: It’s what’s for dinner.)
- I hate holding anything heavier than my purse. If I have something in my hands, I will attempt to trick you into carrying it for me.
- I am not a great listener, although I might appear to be. Sure, I may be nodding and saying, “Mmm hmm,” but usually I am just trying to think of a way to steer the conversation back to being about me.
- It is always about me.
- I complain. A lot. Be particularly cautious if I am hungry, hot, or tired. May God have mercy on your soul if I am all three.
- I am fashionably late for social obligations. The only exception is when I brunch with the girls. You must chauffeur me to the restaurant and I will shriek at you the entire time for dawdling, also known as obeying traffic signals. If it means getting me there on time, you will be expected to drive on the sidewalk.
- Speaking of friends, many of them are cuter and thinner than me. You are not allowed to notice this.
- There will be occassions when you breathe too loudly for my liking. Ditto on chewing.
- All men’s socks look the same to me. If you care about wearing a matching set, please double check them yourself before crossing your legs at a business meeting.
- I enjoy rearranging furniture. You need to enjoy moving bookcases.
-excerpt from Bitter is the New Black (or Why You Should Never Carry a Prada Bag to the Unemployment Line) by Jen Lancaster
Yeah! You finally wrote a blog. I have missed your writings. This was the best. It is us. I loved the picture. I have been called difficult many times but really know that they are just jealous of how I get things done and expect it done my way. Just ask Tina, two peas in a pod.
ReplyDeleteSister, I love this one very much. Keep 'em coming. Love you my eldest.
Mom the role model for my daughters's faults.
why do I look taller than Tara? Sorry mom's eyes are closed.
ReplyDeleteDid I write number 5 or what and I particularly liked number 8
Hilarious. I laughed out loud a lot :) Number 5 is my favorite as well, but I really relate to number 2. I really don't even want to carry my purse... I can't even do a pull up.
ReplyDeleteI must say I agree with all of them. I think, though, that #3 is your father. I always had to follow him around to finish my sentences. I am so glad your dad never learned to use a computer. We would all be in trouble.
ReplyDeleteGlad you all liked it... Mom, I'll let you borrow the book for your summer reading (it will be a nice break to all the mysteries and Nora Roberts novels)... super HILARIOUS!!
ReplyDeleteLittle Trish, I hear ya on the pull-ups - I just started working out with Wayne and it is a shame... I get an entire workout just by helping him put on all the "big weights" for his set and then take them ALL off again so that I can press the bar :)